Living my way to the Answer.

I have a crazy hard time not knowing what is next.

This can be anything from unsealing packages hidden in my parents room, to actually feeling unsettled the day after I gave birth to our son, because I did not know if I wanted to have another baby.

Crazy I know, but for 3 years I wanted to know my own answer, and simply had to wait to find out.

Finally it came to me one day as I watched our son sitting all alone on our couch eating a banana, and I thought, “little one…. you need a little sister or brother” after that it was easy, and sure enough he now has a sister to share his childhood with.

So here I am again, and I must share that I have actually been “here” in the not knowing for quite some time now,  but there is hope!

I have learned quite a bit on this journey so far, and even-though it is far from over- the one thing I have learned above all has to do with “living my way to the answer”.

What does that mean exactly? well for me, since I am such a creative soul it is in the movement and creation of what I love, so although I have a lot of tangible things happening, I am not sure what exactly I am going to be doing from one day to the next.

I have my fingers in a few creative pots, such as the book I am working on getting published, and the new honey bees {to be blogged about soon}that arrived in my yard two days ago, as well as having an incredibly smart husband with potential job offers from New York, Toronto, and possibly California!

Yes I may even be moving from the home we have lived in, given birth in, and raised our kids in for the past 12 years-nothing is off limits right now in the “changing” dept.

*sigh* I guess it is not all bad if I see it all as one great adventure-my personal filter is a choice after all..

Yes– I am living my way to the answer, by living in the unknown,  and although uncomfortable {for me at least!} it has been one of my biggest life lessons and blessings.

Much love

Nikiah

A new Journey….

Last week-end we did it–we finally sat down and bought our tickets to Europe.

This is as much a family trip for me as it is a pilgrimage. For the past few years I have been digging into my family history, asking lots of questions and learning just  where my blood comes from!

My grandfather on my dad’s mothers side was Ukrainian immigrated from Romania to Canada, his father was Irish through and through.

If you look at me and my dad it is easy to see that I am mostly like his both in looks and personality.

My mother comes from British and Scottish ancestry, the Judges and Sutherland’s respectfully.

Yup I am a mixed bag of Celts and Gypsies, and thrilled to be going back to England to sit on the land once again.

We arrive in London first and then head to Cambridge where my hubby Sohrab will be working for a few weeks. it is so beautiful there and I am looking forward to just sitting with the kids outside and dreaming of the Fae.

Then it is on to Glastonbury, and  Stonehenge for some time, I have a few plans up my sleeve for these special places!

After that we are not sure, but Paris, Florance and Rome are on the list as well as-hopefully,maybe Ireland{ I need to set foot there at least once in my lifetime!}I would also love to see Barcelona, but who knows-perhaps I can talk my hubby into a flight to Romania-hmmmm.

It is my hope to bring back some great pieces to make jewelry from, as well as some wood for my friend Sarah-The witch of the forest grove for carving.  This Blog will be a huge part of my journey and I am thrilled that this medium exists.

Unfolding the story, unfolding myself.

I find it remarkable that what we do for a living, says so much about who we are, or rather how much meaning we attach to those labels.

Having always been on the “outside” of formal education for my entire adult life, I found myself looking at universities and wondering if I should give it a “go”.

But the thought of sitting in class learning theories, instead of actually living them has always been a big deterrent for me.

In my life I have tons of certificates-none of which would ever add up to an undergrad at any university, but as a whole they do tend to sound impressive.

Here is a fun list of what I could call myself on any given day:

• A certified Reflexologist
• A certified Holistic Nutritionist{Graduated from the CSNN in 1999}
• A Chartered Herbalist{Dominion Collage}
• A Certified Birth Doula{CD DONA}
• A Certified Childbirth Educator
• A Certified Birthing From Within Mentor

While I was studying in each one  of these programs I could easily see myself having a successful career and doing well, but I never could choose just one, and as a result I combined them all in whatever I was doing at the time to great success, but right now in this moment I am not actively doing any of these things!.

A friend of mine calls us Renaissance woman, and I like that term, it sheds a more positive light on what society might call being  flaky, or indecisive.

Don’t get me wrong though,  I have been pretty successful and created and sold two businesses in the past 12 months so being flaky has served me well, but….

I have also spent more time then I care to admit being envious of others who have had it all “figured out”  for years now and are not showing signs of changing or slowing down!

You know the folk–they are the ones who love their jobs, or better yet are content with the security it gives them and don’t spend any time worrying that their identity is all mixed you with the fact that they sell Real estate during the day and are witches by night.

When I sold my other business in May 2009 I used some of the money to invest in a passion that I have had growing for some years now, which is working with semi-precious beads to make amazing magical jewelry that becomes the very essence of the wearer itself and skins for drums and rattles.

I was taught how to make drums and rattles by my shamanic teacher Angela Prider,  and from that first moment it came very naturally and easily to me, I loved the process of bringing skin into form, to create an instrument-it was very powerful!

Little did I know then, that what I was doing was actually investing in a yet another new business, but also in something that would fill up my soul and sustain me over the next year while I dove into unknown realms and decided to radically change what I had been doing for work for the past 10 years!

Yes full circle and only a touch closer to figuring it all out……